Episode 12

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Published on:

30th Aug 2023

WoW 101: On the depths of desire, Meaningful Action, part 8

Today we explore desire, that part of the human will that deeply yearns for meaning, love, and hope. Josh gives us a mental model for thinking about desire and how it can lead to a life of purpose and flourishing.

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

Choosing ​Wise Heroes​

We all naturally ​want something for nothing

Margaret Smith quoting ​Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite​​The Way of the Mystics​

Luke Burgis, ​Wanting​

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Transcript
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Words of Wisdom 101 on the depths of desire, meaningful action, part eight.

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Your desire is about what you want.

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Your desire or your will is also called your spirit or your heart

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in the most wise of all literature.

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It's that part of you that deeply yearns for meaning, love, and hope.

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A core difference from other animals is the depth that

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humans desire the human will.

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It goes far beyond merely a will to survive and meet basic needs.

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It is what fuels art, poetry, and the ambition to do something

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significant with your life, such as sacrificing yourself for another.

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It's part of the divine spark within us.

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You can influence what you want.

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Choosing wise heroes cannot be overemphasized.

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The more shallow your desire, the shorter your time horizon.

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The more shallow your desire, the more you are focused on quickly changing your mood.

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Shallow desire is about fulfilling a short-term satiation of your feelings.

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Binging on food, sex, or numbing yourself with distracting behaviors.

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The problem is that shallow desire does not fulfill.

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It leaves you hollow.

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The more deeply you desire, the longer your time horizon.

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The longer your time horizon, the more discipline is needed.

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We all naturally want something for nothing, but the deepest desires

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require the most significant sacrifices for the longest periods of time.

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Marriage, parenting, running a business or nonprofit, for example.

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All of these are easy to start and exceedingly difficult to flourish in.

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If you want be able to say yes to the deepest desires, you

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must have the self-control to say no to your shallow desires.

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Moving from good to great is largely about your strength to say no.

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In the long run, this is best done by growing deep desires.

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So feeding your desire with a healthy fire is critical, and working to

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regularly strengthen your discipline will help you get where you want to go.

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So again, desire is about what you want.

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Ambition is about how widely you want to spread your desire.

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Ambition is seeking to influence others with your desire.

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The more ambition you have

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the more discipline you need.

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The further you go in accomplishing your ambitions,

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the more temptations you'll face.

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Discipline is what you will sacrifice to get what you want.

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Fortitude is how determined you are to get there.

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And flourishing is an awakening to deep desire.

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Quotes.

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"Goodness draws all things to itself and is the great attractive power which unites

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things that are sundered — unto the good.

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All things are turned —and after the good, all things do yearn.

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This good, which is also the All Beautiful is the goal of all things and their

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Beloved, for all things do and must desire the Beautiful and the Good."

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Margaret Smith quoting Pseudo-Dionysius, the Areopagite in

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the book, the Way of the Mystics.

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"Desire doesn't spread like information.

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It spreads like energy.

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It passes from person to person, like the energy between people

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at a concert or political rally.

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This energy can lead to a cycle of positive desire in which healthy

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desires gain momentum and lead to other healthy desires, uniting people in

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positive ways, or it can become a cycle of negative desire in which mimetic

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rivalries lead to conflict and discord."

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Luke Burgess, in his book Wanting.

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Questions.

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What do you most deeply desire?

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To what degree does the focus of your desire rest on the future of acquiring

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things, achieving accomplishments, or recognition from others?

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How deeply do you desire good for those who have hurt you?

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Use these questions as journal prompts and prayers for this week.

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Endnote.

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Seek to deepen your desire every day.

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The quality of your life depends on it.

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About the Podcast

Words of Wisdom
Brief reflections from a psychotherapist to help you grow in the skills of virtuous living.
Wisdom is the most important skill in life. Yet do you really know how to grow in wisdom? Get brief, weekly reflections Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT. A psychotherapist and the CEO of www.greatoakscollective.com, Josh will help you learn how to live wisely. Learn more about Josh at www.joshkalsbeek.com or www.wisecraft.org.